Bitter And Poison

Sanjay Kishore Dadlani:
Middlesex University Student Residing In The UK
Very Bitter

Some very bitter posts by Sanjay on his former killuminati blog:

It’s almost like my entire soul seems to be filled with poison. I don’t know how else to describe it. I either feel just very vacant or empty, and at other times I just feel consumed by bitterness, anger and hatred. Consumed by poison

It’s like when I close my eyes, I can actually feel the loneliness surrounding me, choking and suffocating me. Or at least my senses seem to sink within myself and become dull. A pessimistic attitude tints my vision and I cannot seem to understand other people’s emotions except mine. Yes, I may laugh at comedies but usually only at the sarcastic jokes, which seem to be an extension of the frustration and bitterness in my soul. It’s like I am just aimless these days, going along no particular direction…

It is something that I had perhaps get used to. It’s probably likely that I will end up a bitter twisted old man and I should look forward to that and embrace it. It’s looking unreasonable to expect anything else…

It is thus no wonder that I am wallowing in disillusion these days. It is no wonder that I have accepted the possibility that I will transform into a sad, lonely, bitter twisted old man…

No one hears the bitter sobs as I cry for a saviour to liberate my soul from this gutter. The chains of iniquity lie around my neck and my hands are tied together with the rope of regret while the children outside laugh and play in joyful glee. I close my eyes and feel the waves of misery crash on the rocks of my heart and sway my body to the rhythm of the vulture’s call…

Some days I feel really angry, vengeful and hateful. I gotta admit that I am becoming the same bitter and twisted person that I was when I met her. So what? Maybe that’s my destiny. I have turned to this line of anger and hatefulness relatively recently…

Fuck’s sake, I’m seriously gonna turn into a bitter twisted old man for the rest of my life…

Nothing like a “twisted”, “pessimistic” and “bitter” person (caught in the “gutter” of “rage”, “hate” and “anger”) to defend Anti-Sai Activist’s twisted, pessimistic and bitter crusades against Sathya Sai Baba (which are similary caught in the gutters of rage, hate and anger).

Yes, it’s all “poison”. At least the truth is out :-)

RELATED BLOG LINKS:
» » Sanjay Rejoiced When Sai Baba Temples Bombed
» » Psychologically Unstable Hip Hop Boy
» » Sanjay: Multiple Personalities?
» » Sanjay Dadlani’s Serious Drinking Problems
» » Proof Sanjay Dadlani Is Mentally Disturbed
» » Bad Pudgy Finger Day
» » Sanjay The Psychopath
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One Comment

  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 17, 2007 at 3:17 am | Permalink

    I feel exactly the same way