Alan Kazlev Scraps "Disrespectable Me"

Exposing Martin Alan Kazlev, webmaster for Kheper.net, the biased Anti-Sathya-Sai-Baba sympathizer.

Alan Kazlev scrapped his former article about himself entitled, “disrespectable me” because he felt it was “puerile”. I think Kazlev’s former comments are illuminating, so I will duplicate it here:

Disrespectable MeHey I knew you’d come here first ;-)

Who wants 2 read a lot of respectable crap anyway?

Okay – first off – has it ever occured to you how many people on the Net are so frigging talented? Like, if you read some of the curriculum vitae, it’s like they have a PhD in one subject and a Masters in another, know half a dozen different programming languages intimately, speak three languages fluently, have a license to drive four types of heavy vehicles, a pilot’s license for two classes of aircraft, are really good at sport, work as a high level freelance consultant in ten different things each one much harder than you or I could do, have a well-adjusted family with whom they get on superbly, and are in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful lover. Not only that but it’s obvious from their photo they’re extremely handsome (if a male) or beautiful (if a female), and you can see they have a wonderful confident charsimatic personality to boot…

Yeah it just makes you wanna puke doesn’t it?

Anyway I thought I’d write my own curriculum vitae. I would like to point out here that everything you read on this page is true. I’m not exagerating or making things up. Just so you know ;-)

Okay here we go…

Paid Regular Employment history: none
It is true that I got $40 for half a day’s casual labour once. Another time I received $250 for an article on IRC romance that was published in a national newspaper some years ago. Once I did help a friend with some landscape gardening, but he never got paid so neither did I…
Recently, I have been hired on a casual basis as scientific consultant for Edugraphics. Very nice job, but it’s only casual mind you…

Volunteer Work Employment History
this is no bullshit: I was given the sack from volunteer work! (I won’t go into details, the less said about this sorry affair the better…)

Tertiary Qualifications:
B.A. major in philosophy
well I suppose I had to have something to show for 6 years of university life (almost everyone else got their degree in 3 years)

Driver’s License
I did learn to drive once, many many many years ago, but I’ve absolutelty forgotten since. I’m pretty good on a bicycle though….

Programming Languages: none
I made a futile attempt to learn C many many years back. More recently I learned the basics of HTML, but only ‘cos it’s so easy even a child can do it. I still can’t master (nor am I atm motiovated to learn) javascript, flash, or anything else fancy like that.

Languages spoken: English
For a while I started teaching myself Russian and got to the stage where I knew one or two words and could recognise most of the alphabet. I didn’t keep it up and have forgotten most of it now. I keep meaning to stick up some foreign words on the inside of the dunny door so I can memeorise them, but I never do.

Overseas Travel:
I did spend 3 months travelling around India when I was much younger but because of my stutter plus my Australian accent no one there could understand me. Once I as in Bangalore (beautiful city btw) and I wanted to go to the Post Office so I hailed a taxi and I said (well, stuttered, whatever) “Post Office” and he said “what?” and I said “I want to go to the Post Office” and he said “where do you want to go?” and I said “to the porhhhst ahhhficceee!!!!” and this went on for quite a while, and finally he drove me miles and miles to some suburb I’d never been to (the name of which I suppose sounded something like “Porhhhstahhfiss”) on the other side of Bangalore and dropped me off at the post office there (rather than at the local post office)

Sport
Actually my favourite sport is lying in bed in the morning. ;-)

Number of Projects Started
Too many to count

Number of those Projects actually completed
Too few to count

Love Life
Non-existent (too geeky? too intellectual? insufficient social skills? too eccentric?)

There now! No need to feel bad about your life! There’s always someone as badly off as (if not worse than) you are! ;-)

Cheers :-)

*“Who wants 2 read a lot of respectable crap anyway?”
*“Yeah it just makes you wanna puke doesn’t it?”
*“this is no bullshit: I was given the sack from volunteer work”
*“Paid Regular Employment history: none”
*“I keep meaning to stick up some foreign words on the inside of the dunny door so I can memeorise them, but I never do.”
*“to the porhhhst ahhhficceee!!!!”
*“Number of Projects Started: Too many to count”
*“Number of those Projects actually completed: Too few to count”

“Puerile”? Umm…absolutely :-)

Reference

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